The Legend of Pants

Since Nintendo revealed The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword at E3, people have been abuzz about the game. Some have spoken of the 1:1 motion controls, as well as the potential issue that presents for left-handed folk. Some have discussed the art style, and others the plot.

And some… have discussed Link’s pants.

Indeed, the passion some fans have for The Legend of Zelda is well-known, as they struggle with continuity and timeline theories to try and make sense of what Miyamoto and Aonuma won’t tell them. But then, some people are just lesser fans who do not care for Link’s new cargo pants look.

It is not a particularly heated or even oft-discussed debate, but the times I have seen it brought up led me to notice something strange in the Zelda timeline.

Aonuma has already spoiled everyone by telling us that the Skyward Sword becomes the Master Sword, thus placing the game Skyward Sword before Ocarina of Time, regarded as one of the earliest chronological installments in the series. And so…

Here we have what is officially one of the earliest incarnations of Link, if not the earliest. And as we can plainly see in the image above, Link is wearing what appears to be a white set of baggy pants. This will be the first and only time (so far) we see him garbed in such attire. From there…

Above, we see the Hero of Time, as he was in Ocarina of Time. Gone are the pants of Skyward Link, now replaced with a set of whitey tighties. Future Links would continue to support this look, including those seen in Wind Waker, Twilight Princess, and the Oracle titles.

But moving further on into the future…

By the time of A Link to the Past, not even the tights are there! Nor would the Link of the original Legend of Zelda wear tights, much less pants. At best, we can only assume that Link retains some sort of decency by wearing some underwear beneath.

And now we come to the startling truth. You’ll notice that after Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, all new games have apparently been set in times prior to the NES adventures.

While Nintendo’s developers would occasionally move a little forward, they never went any further than The Adventure of Link in the timeline, instead choosing to remain firmly in the past, with this newest game, Skyward Sword, going even further back.

Why has Nintendo avoided going any further into the future with Zelda? The answer is now clear. If they were go to go further, the natural evolution of Link’s legwear would force them to come up with something like this:

…and Lord knows, while some fangirls may “squee” at the prospect, Nintendo simply cannot allow this to happen.

Bonus: Alternate titles considered for this article:

• A Link to the Pants
• Pants Awakening
• The Adventure of Pants
• Pants of Time
• Skyward Pants
• The Pants-om Hourglass
• Spirit Pants
• Pants of Ages
• Pants of Seasons
• The Minish Pants
• Link: Pants of Evil
• This is What Happens When One of Our Writers Has Far Too Much Time to Think About Silly, Stupid Little Things

Editor’s Note: The above has been strictly for the purpose of light satire. Please don’t take this as anything serious or definitive. Yes, we realize that in Ocarina, young Link didn’t have tights while his older counterpart did, just as the older Link of Zelda II would also wear brown tights. This was just a fun look at a peculiarity which has arisen over the course of time in the Zelda franchise, and we hope that you’ll just laugh a little and enjoy it as such.

“Link’s Embarrassing Little Moment” Image Source: Comicgirl16 on deviantArt

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Originally posted on RipTen

David Oxford

David Oxford, or “LBD ‘Nytetrayn’,” as he is sometimes also known, is a freelance writer of many varied interests who resides in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. If you’re interested in hiring him, please drop him a line at david.oxford (at) nyteworks.net.

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