Not too long ago, there was a hashtag trending on Twitter: #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly. Inspiration immediately struck, and I contributed several of my own.

Sadly, none of them made it into Smosh’s 29 Best Tweets From the #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Hashtag. This disappointed me, but then I thought “hey, I have my own website. If nothing else, I can preserve them for posterity there, and maybe share them with a new audience as well!”

So here we go!

David Oxford is a freelance writer of many varied interests. If you’re interested in hiring him, please drop him a line at david.oxford (at)