I had been under the impression that, thanks to sites such as The Consumerist, “secret menus” at fast food establishments were a fairly well-known commodity… just not often spoken of.

For those unaware, the “secret menus” are usually items which the chain in question might have once carried, but no longer do… at least, that’s what you would think if you were to glance over the menu posted over the registers. Such items are typically made with fare they carry anyway, just arranged a bit differently. And since they have the materials but no promotion for it, the items become something of a “special request.”

Recently, over at the Cavalcade of Awesome, m’boy Paxton Holley created his own article detailing several such items from places as common as Starbucks, Wendy’s, McDonald’s, and Burger King, as well as somewhat less-common places as In and Out Burger, Fat Burger, and Jamba Juice. To my amazement (and slight regret, in that I wish I had thought to do it first), the popularity of the article seems to have exploded, bringing in 135 comments (a few of which are my own) over the course of the past three days.

At this point, I want to see just how far this thing can go, and so I decided to go ahead and link it here (I should add a button to my links in the sidebar, because CoA is worth keeping tabs on regularly, anyway). So go, and indulge in the glory… or perhaps cringe, once you learn just how far you can go with burger patties and cheese slices at In and Out Burger.

My own contribution? Burger King has a nifty little ham and cheese sandwich that they make, which you can get hot or cold… that is, assuming yours also carries the ham, egg, and cheese Croissanwich. They take four slices of the ham, two slices of cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise, and put it on one of their original chicken sandwich buns. I would have included a picture for this post, but, well, I guess that’s just how secret it is– I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t a breakfast sandwich.

One word of advice, though: know the contents of what you’re ordering. Needless to say, fast food doesn’t exactly have the lowest turnover rate, and so some newer employees might not know what the heck you’re talking about if you ask for your burger “animal style,” for instance. But they (at least the good ones) will often accommodate more reasonable requests for bizarre foods, so long as they know what to do.

On that note, order the McGangbang by name at your own risk. They may know what you’re talking about, but simply choose to pretend otherwise to save face (it’s easy enough to make on your own, anyway).

Incidentally, I wish that the Arch Deluxe was a secret menu item at McDonald’s. I’d even settle for just getting the sauce on a Quarter Pounder.

And finally, try not to flip out over this. No one is saying you have to eat it, or that anyone should. Talk of fast food being bad, going to an early grave, etc.– yes, certainly, if you eat too much, it’s bad for you. But too much of anything is bad for you– even water. Nonetheless, depending on the circumstances, that doesn’t mean one can’t go a little nuts and spoil themselves once in a while.

But, options are good, and as with anything, just don’t make it a habit and start eating such things daily.

–LBD “Nytetrayn”

  • http://paxholley.net Paxton Holley

    Thanks for the shout out, man. Yeah, I was not prepared for the all out explosion of that article. It was honestly a fill in I wrote to bridge the gap to this week which is Back to the Future week (for the 25th anniversary). Then it hit the WordPress font page and BOOM! went the dynamite.

    You are right, it’s crazy how many fast food haters actually took the time to comment on the article. WTF is that all about?

    As for a permanent link, I added you a few weeks ago to my “Blogroll”. I’m always lurking around the Mushroom. :-)

    • http://www.poisonmushroom.org LBD Nytetrayn

      Hey, my pleasure. And I have no idea what’s with the haters. Probably the same people who feel they have to control every aspect of everyone else’s life, and blame video games and Ronald McDonald for all of society’s woes.

      And glad to hear you frequent; I saw you added the link, and that pleased me. Any ideas for a button I can post on my sidebar to return the favor?

      –LBD “Nytetrayn”

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